Happy Birthday Peanut

It is simply crazy to look at my daughter and realize that 3 years have gone by.

It seems like so long ago, and then like it was only yesterday. In one sense my entire life has completely changed, and I barely remember the woman I was when I had her. In another sense, it seems time has flown by and she has gone from a baby into a full grown mini person so rapidly.

Becoming a mother, or rather, a Mom, it changed me. I was so unhealthy, so oblivious to so many things, and the day she entered into my life I began to realize I needed to change. I wanted to stand up and give my daughter a positive role model.

My daughter gave me my life back. She made me realize that being healthy and fit and loving myself enough to do those things, is what I need. She really changed my life in so many ways, and I will always tell her the story. I will always remind her of how beautiful she was the day I saw her face to face. How her birth, was also a rebirth for me, and how I will always be here grateful for her being a part of my life.

Happy Birthday to the small person who has had such a big impact on my life :)

I Am Declaring A Fitness War

So, things have been going well.

I was able to run 13.1 miles on Sunday! My longest run since being injured during the marathon I ran over Memorial Day weekend. It felt great. What I really loved was just being able to be in control again of my running and I got that mind clearing long run in. I also got over the "I can't " feelings. See after an injury that kept me from running for 2 months I feared I would never be able to run well again. Silly I know but hey I am honest. So it was great to get out there and get it done.

I also managed a trail run in my favorite woods on Tuesday and that felt good. I guess I conquered both fears I have been harboring about my running, the longer run and trails. So now I can settle into ultra training and own it :)

This week has already been strong. I have been spending my evenings after work at the gym. It's kind of nice having no life lol I am taking advantage of it. Peanut finally has a routine that allows her to calmly sit in the YMCA daycare while I workout so it's a win win situation for all.

When I was at the gym last night something inside of me snapped. I had run 6 trail miles earlier. Then I got through a half hour trx class. After class I set myself up with a crossfit style workout. I figured it would just help me because I wanted to get another half hour or work in before I ended my day.

This proved to be the best thing I have done for myself in awhile. I was slamming my weights doing ground ups and it felt good. As I swung my kettle bell I get strong. I began to think about my last few months and how stressed I have been. I began to think about how I have been letting my emotions take over and I have gained about 14 pounds from my race weight.

I got angry. The angrier I got, the harder I worked. I usually do this anger motivation during cardio but never during a tougher workout like this. I came to a conclusion as I was throwing my medicine ball against the wall and catching it as I squatted, that this is war.

There is a war going on right now between my body and my desire to make it better. I am declaring a war on these stinking 14 pounds and my current fitness level. This is war. I will take no prisoners and leave no room for error.

I am tired of feeling sluggish. I am tired of making excuses and coasting. And anyone who has lost weight knows this: deep down inside you know what needs to be done. It takes hard work and dedication. It takes the ability to step on the scale every week and deliver results through that hard work and proper eating. It is a war. And I am ready to stand up and charge!