Releasing Everything That Is Holding You Back

My transition to a healthy life has been a long journey.

Hitting goal weight was only one milestone I intend to accomplish this year. See the thing about getting healthy, it begins to change your entire perspective on many things. Once I began losing weight I began to realize that my personality was changing as well.

I was no longer depressed like I used to be. I began running. I loved running. It gave me a lot of joy. And when I became joyful all the time it carried over into my personal life as well. I began making more friends and being more social. I was closer to my sister and family.

Everyone began to notice that I was changing and not just on the outside. Inside changed even more. I became strong. Not only physically, but mentally as well. I held my head up high and began to realize that I deserved much more from life than I was allowing myself.

All that strength has led me down the path to a new beginning. One I am excited about and eager to explore. It has given me the strength to finally say goodbye to a part of my life that I needed to part ways with in order to be happy. It will be hard to say goodbye to that part of my life.

I will grieve for some time for this part of my life that will no longer be there. But through my grief I am also learning that I have made the right choice and things will be much better for me in the future. Letting go is always the hardest step.

But sometimes once you let go of the very things that are weighing you down, you see the rainbow that is glowing at the end of the tunnel. I like to think that this next part of my journey is like that. The tunnel is dark and it is hard to see at the end of it, however there is a tiny spark there that I know will only get stronger as I continue along the way.

I am excited to get to the end of the tunnel and dance in the sunshine with my rainbow.

Lifetime Goal Weight

I walked into my Weight Watchers meeting today feeling a little worried. Why is it whenever I am not expecting much I get more?

I missed weigh in last week because I got caught up in work and things so this week would make it 2 weeks since weigh in. I was worried because well I like weighing in weekly and I weighed at home in the morning and I was hovering around 159. I was upset. But my scale at home must be wrong because when I stepped onto the scale at Weight Watchers I got a different story:

The receptionist said, wow you lost 5.2 pounds over the holidays? And she looked up at me, I paused and my mouth must have been hanging wide open because I was speechless for a minute. Then I said, wait a minute what is my current weight then? I was too excited to be able to calculate it... She said well 155 pounds. I said really?!? She said yes why, I said well that is GOAL WEIGHT!!!! I must have shouted because the woman behind me said wow congrats, where is the bells going off? hehehe I did not care at that point. Not only did I hit goal weight I passed it with 2 more pounds!!!!!!!!

I was too busy staring at the tiny sticker. That little sticker there that read a weight I did not envision many months ago when I signed up for Weight Watchers.

She was not really enthusiastic, maybe she did not realize how big of an event it was for me, not sure but anyways. She fished through the draw saying to the other receptionist, what do we give them for lifetime.... I got my star charm and she wrote in my book. Then I walked away.

I began to feel jumpy and excited but her reaction was so quiet that I began to wonder what the big deal was. But thankfully the leader mentioned something and I just blurted it out, I hit LIFETIME goal weight :) then the whole room was clapping and they tried to make me stand up and give a speech. I was like no no lets wait till I hit my 6 weeks :)

I felt amazing. I still feel it now hours later as I sit here. I wanted to cry I was so happy at that moment it all was clear to me, what I had wished for for so very long my dream to get healthy and fit was finally true. I thought about that girl who was lost and hopeless 2 years ago, sitting alone in her closet crying because nothing fit anymore. That sad sullen girl who hated the world she lived in.

I thought for a long time about that girl today, I thought about her life she led for so long. Over 10 years she had lived in a prison of bad attitudes, binge eating, insecurity and loneliness. I cried for her again today and I looked at my life now. I remembered how hopeless I was. I remembered how I felt so ugly and disgusting. I had no idea that this world existed. I literally was walking around in an empty shell. I thought about how alive I felt today and I thanked God for giving me this chance to save my life.

After my Weight Watchers meeting I headed to my favorite place to train:

Yes the track. My training plan called for 10 miles today with 5 1000m repeats at 5K pace! I was more than happy to take my energetic lifetime earning self to that track today!!! I cruised around the first mile around 8 and then did 5 repeats each around the 6:00 pace!!!! If hitting lifetime felt great this felt amazing too!!!! Not only have I lost weight but in the process I have become a runner. Today on that track I felt like an athlete. A runner chasing that bq time qualification.

After the track I headed to my thinking place and had some time to gather my thoughts.

Then it was time to celebrate! I went to Sephora on the way home and got myself a tiny celebration gift :) I felt like I earned it hehe

After that it was to pick up my Peanut and cuddle her up!

Oh and we added our new charm to our collection :)

All I am missing now is my golden key which I will get in 6 weeks!!!!! February 22nd I will weight in at goal weight and earn my official Lifetime member status!!! This means free Weight Watchers meetings forever and a whole ton of great support to maintain all the work I have put in!

I am living proof like so many others than when you dream, your dreams do come true. I have worked my ass off for the last 2 years exercising and eating healthy and it has all paid off in ways I never imagined possible. I wake up with a smile everyday that comes naturally. I am living my life the way I was meant to. Happy and healthy. All 7 medications I used daily when I was obese are gone. All the tears that come now are from joy and a divine gratitude for my life that is just beginning :)

My Love Letter to Running

It began as hatred between the two of us.

Running was hard, running was tough. Running made me work harder than I ever had before for anything in my life. I did not even like running when we first met. It was more of a mutual dislike between the 2 of us. 

But I was tied to it; I was determined not to let it get the best of me. And like my stubborn head strong self I fought with it every single step of the way. Running would come in and challenge me and I would stand up against it. 

Slowly over time running became friendly. The toughness that running presented was only on the surface of what it was really about. I was surprised when I began to look forward to going to run and even more surprised when I no longer dreaded it. 

Running and I, became good friends. I began to confide in running in ways I never thought possible. Running became one of my closest friends and I began to look forward to our time together. We began to spend more time together and that time became precious to me. 

Running lets me be myself. Running actually does not mind if I get emotional, clingy, or needy. In fact when I am running I believe I am the most honest version of myself. It was then that I realized not only did I like running, but I was slowly falling in love with it too.

When I am not running I am thinking about it. When I go somewhere I see something that reminds me of it. Running has become a large part of my life. One of my favorite things about it? It makes me want to be a better person. Running has opened my eyes to a better life that I ever saw for myself. 

Running has opened my eyes to sunsets and sunrises. It has taught me to look at life more simply and appreciate all the little things.

Running has put in me a new found strength. I am stronger when I am running and I am more dedicated and focused in all aspects of my life. I now believe the message in this picture :)

When I am running I am so happy and free. I see my dreams coming true when I run. I look forward to our time together and cherish it. I know one thing for certain: I want running around for the rest of my life.

 

The Day I Met Jeff Galloway

As you should probably know by now I am a huge Jeff Galloway fan.

I started using his walk/run method to start running in the summer of 2010. I liked it because I was around 220 pounds when I wanted to start running. It was the only way I felt I could run. I would jog for 30 seconds and walk for a minute. Slowly over time I increased the jogging intervals and began running for longer periods of time in between shorter walk breaks.

Today I take a walk break every mile. It is usually a 30 second walk break. I find that no matter what my pace is a walk break just helps my legs stay fresh. When I ran my first marathon in Philadelphia I used the Galloway method and training plan to train and prepare for it. I read his book, Marathon You Can and I followed his training program for a 3:40 marathon. I would say it was a success since I ran my first marathon in 3:46. Not too bad!!

After that I really was a believer in his method and in his work.Well OK before that I really was but doing the marathon and getting that badass time I really did believe in it :)

So at the Disney race expo this past weekend I was so excited to hear that Jeff Galloway was there meeting people and signing books!! I knew I had to sneak over and say hi to him and meet him!

 
It was incredible. First I met his inspiring wife who also wirtes the books and runs :) She was blown away by the tiny picture I carry around of the old me and my story. Just talking to her about running and how it saved my life was a nice feeling. They both share such a passion for running and inspiring people. Jeff was very nice too. He encouraged me to keep chasing my BQ dreams and told me I would be able to do it this year.

He said the beauty of the run walk method is that it gets you eased into running and helps you cross the finish line. I could not agree more. We talked about the 29 mile run too. I told him how I loved it and I believed it helped me be successful in my marathon. He said that the people who do the 29 mile run had an average of almost 11 minutes faster finish time when it came time to race day. I believe it!

I was so excited to meet them both! It was great to finally meet the man who wrote the training plan that helped me finish my first marathon.  Thank you guys for keeping us inspired and running with your training plans and awesome method. Now I need to get a Boston chapter going :)