The feeling of failure runs high in your mind everytime you have a set back. It has been a tough year for me since spring time. I will not sit here and make excuses because that is just not what I do. But I will say that there have been many things that are beyond my scope of being able to handle and I have weathered them.
I have been fighting like hell to keep things together and most days I win. But some days I fall. I will always have to deal with ups and downs, I know. I truly believe it is how you are during the downs that make the ups feel even that much better. So I have no regrets, and I am hopeful that the downs will slow down.
But there is something that needs to go down now, and that is the weight I have gained in the past few months. It really began after I qualified for Boston. I worked so hard all winter and maintained a racing weight that was really tough for me. Then I kind of let myself slide back a bit and relax. I was still running and working out a lot but I let myself gain about 5 pounds. Not a big deal.
Then I got injured. You would be amazed at how quickly your body changes when you are couch/bed ridden for a few weeks. I have jiggle where there never was jiggle. I started working out slowly doing cross training and things but it just is not the same as running. I miss my runners body. I miss the way a long run can burn 1600 calories and let me maintain my weight easier.
Anyways, enough whining and complaining. I am done now. I went for a short run yesterday, yes. My first one in 6 weeks. I took it easy because I wanted just to test the waters so to speak. It felt,
AMAZING.
Like a junkie missing a fix, I had really missed my runs. If for nothing more than to clear my head. It worked.
I made a marathon training plan last week and have been following it. This week I focused on getting back to basics with my eating habits and getting back to tracking calories and also points on Weight Watchers. It is kind of a pain to do both, but I think it will help me stay more accountable. I got kind of used to the My Fitness Pal app, and prefer it over the weight watchers app so we will see which one I ultimatly stick to in the end. Either way I know one thing, the scale said 174 pounds Tuesday July 10, 2012 and that is the last time I will see such a high number this year. My goal is to get back down to my lifetime goal weight of 158 pounds and MAINTAIN it for a long time.
16 pounds does not sound like a lot, but again, to someone who weighed 274 pounds at one point, 174 was scary all on its own. I need to get back to a comfortable level and stick there. I also did what always helps me, take a few progress pictures. I will take these once a month to make sure I am staying on track.
I will not let life get in my way. I will not let a torn calf, allow me to fall backwards and hit the ground with a thud. I will keep fighting and I will win, because I never give up.
7 comments:
I was curious at when you started running? Did you get some weight off first? I started at 292, and tried to jog a little at 240, it was still a bit hard on knees and feet (I'm 48) anyway, would like your opinion and feel free to e-mail me at KimberLandry417"aol.com
My e-mail is KimberLandry417@aol.com thanks for your time!! I enjoy your blog
You still look great to me Colleen, but I understand about once you've been at a lower weight its hard when its starts to creep up!
You'll get there in no time and I'm glad to see that your torn calf is healing up nicely!
Go get 'em girl!
I feel you regarding the being injured thing. I haven't been able to run at all the past month and it's driving me crazy! I'm planning on starting again next week. Glad that you're finally able to be active again. It sounds like you have made major progress so far and I'm sure you'll reach your goal with your dedication and motivation.
It's awesome that you have got back to running so soon. I've been out since last August with a herniated disc and was told by my physio NOT to run. It took me till this March to get to the gym and start to crosstrain and put on at least 20 pounds in the meantime. I've done this twice before-once with a rolled ankle followed by bone spurs on my heels and then a few years later tore the meniscus in my knee that lead to surgery. Each time I was injured I was so pissed that I didn't go to a plan B-just sabatoged all my hard work and ate my way up. Not a good strategy! You're doing the right thing and are wise to be cautious. Running is so efficient at getting the weight off and keeping it off. So glad that you are able to start to get back to it.
Most fitness trainers and professionals I had known had met a road block in there lives and somehow manage to overcome it. And now I had something to add to those collections of stories.
Great post! Keep up the hard work with your weight loss! One thing I’ve found to be extremely helpful and useful as a supplement to my current diet/exercise plan is Fullbar (www.fullbar.com). Not only do their products help you lose weight, they also help you maintain your weight loss.
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