The little problem about being someone who once was obese and over weight?
The feeling of failure runs high in your mind everytime you have a set back. It has been a tough year for me since spring time. I will not sit here and make excuses because that is just not what I do. But I will say that there have been many things that are beyond my scope of being able to handle and I have weathered them.
I have been fighting like hell to keep things together and most days I win. But some days I fall. I will always have to deal with ups and downs, I know. I truly believe it is how you are during the downs that make the ups feel even that much better. So I have no regrets, and I am hopeful that the downs will slow down.
But there is something that needs to go down now, and that is the weight I have gained in the past few months. It really began after I qualified for Boston. I worked so hard all winter and maintained a racing weight that was really tough for me. Then I kind of let myself slide back a bit and relax. I was still running and working out a lot but I let myself gain about 5 pounds. Not a big deal.
Then I got injured. You would be amazed at how quickly your body changes when you are couch/bed ridden for a few weeks. I have jiggle where there never was jiggle. I started working out slowly doing cross training and things but it just is not the same as running. I miss my runners body. I miss the way a long run can burn 1600 calories and let me maintain my weight easier.
Anyways, enough whining and complaining. I am done now. I went for a short run yesterday, yes. My first one in 6 weeks. I took it easy because I wanted just to test the waters so to speak. It felt,
Like a junkie missing a fix, I had really missed my runs. If for nothing more than to clear my head. It worked.
I made a marathon training plan last week and have been following it. This week I focused on getting back to basics with my eating habits and getting back to tracking calories and also points on Weight Watchers. It is kind of a pain to do both, but I think it will help me stay more accountable. I got kind of used to the My Fitness Pal app, and prefer it over the weight watchers app so we will see which one I ultimatly stick to in the end. Either way I know one thing, the scale said 174 pounds Tuesday July 10, 2012 and that is the last time I will see such a high number this year. My goal is to get back down to my lifetime goal weight of 158 pounds and MAINTAIN it for a long time.
16 pounds does not sound like a lot, but again, to someone who weighed 274 pounds at one point, 174 was scary all on its own. I need to get back to a comfortable level and stick there. I also did what always helps me, take a few progress pictures. I will take these once a month to make sure I am staying on track.
I will not let life get in my way. I will not let a torn calf, allow me to fall backwards and hit the ground with a thud. I will keep fighting and I will win, because I never give up.