I love to keep things to myself, retreat into a cave and mull it over for awhile. The problem with this is it is not socially accepted all the time. SO I would love the idea of wearing a tiny sign so people would be cautious and know when to let me be. You could have one for sad days, that says I am quiet. One for happy days I am OK. One for grumpy days that says Proceed with caution. And one for times when you just do not want to get hurt I am healing.
I think about everything I have been through and that would be my sign right now. I am fragile. I thought I had everything planned out for my life and it turned out it was wrong. Now I am ok with this and I am moving forward. But it is a process. And I need to go through that process. There are times when I feel like I will be ok, and then there are times when I feel like retreating back to my cave for awhile.
I am noticing that it is easier when I do try to talk to my friends and share my feelings, but sometimes I just get even more angry. I am a work in progress. I do not have it all figured out. I am not sure if I ever will. I do know that one day this will all be behind me and I will be stronger for it.
I already feel stronger already. I am learning that I deserve to be happy all of the time. That the things I want are not too difficult to expect from life and I should really focus on allowing myself to have them. I am worthy. I did not always believe it. I still have trouble believing it and I am healing until I really in my heart have accepted it, I am worthy. I need to surround myself with people who make me feel like this every single day no matter what. As hard as that is, I need to do it.
When I can wear that sign I will be ready for anything. I will put myself in better situations, and I will make the smarter choices. When I really accept the I am worthy, I will live it every single day.
3 comments:
I'm glad it's starting to get easier and I suspect it will take some time.
I haven't been through a break up like that, but last year when my father passed away, I was okay... kinda processing it myself but if someone else wanted to talk to me about it, I would 'lose it' BIG TIME!
Take the time you need. And take care.
Deb
LOVE the idea of the little signs or name tags.
Gosh, fragile is the last word I would think of from you, but I know the feeling of being strong on the outside and barely holding it together on the inside. Glad you feel that you are healing and getting stronger>
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