Sometimes I wish we could wear signs, not big ones but even maybe tiny ones so that people could see what was going on inside of us without us having to divulge it all and discuss it. I think its a great idea since I hate sharing my feelings and what is going on.
I love to keep things to myself, retreat into a cave and mull it over for awhile. The problem with this is it is not socially accepted all the time. SO I would love the idea of wearing a tiny sign so people would be cautious and know when to let me be. You could have one for sad days, that says I am quiet. One for happy days I am OK. One for grumpy days that says Proceed with caution. And one for times when you just do not want to get hurt I am healing.
I think about everything I have been through and that would be my sign right now. I am fragile. I thought I had everything planned out for my life and it turned out it was wrong. Now I am ok with this and I am moving forward. But it is a process. And I need to go through that process. There are times when I feel like I will be ok, and then there are times when I feel like retreating back to my cave for awhile.
I am noticing that it is easier when I do try to talk to my friends and share my feelings, but sometimes I just get even more angry. I am a work in progress. I do not have it all figured out. I am not sure if I ever will. I do know that one day this will all be behind me and I will be stronger for it.
I already feel stronger already. I am learning that I deserve to be happy all of the time. That the things I want are not too difficult to expect from life and I should really focus on allowing myself to have them. I am worthy. I did not always believe it. I still have trouble believing it and I am healing until I really in my heart have accepted it, I am worthy. I need to surround myself with people who make me feel like this every single day no matter what. As hard as that is, I need to do it.
When I can wear that sign I will be ready for anything. I will put myself in better situations, and I will make the smarter choices. When I really accept the I am worthy, I will live it every single day.