My Biggest Supporter

I do not talk about him much but there is a man, a great man in my life who has been my biggest supporter from day 1.

I realized it when I was looking at my race pictures from this past weekend:

Yes there he is holding my medal with a smile on his face. It hit me then looking at it, that is his medal too. He is the one who stood in the 38 degree temperature waiting patiently for me to cross that finish line for the whole hour and 48 minutes. He got up at 6:30am on his day off to accompany me to the race. He cheers for me at every race. He has not missed one since I started last year. I realized how important that was when talking to my dad today and reminding him how he has not seen me race once yet...

In Hyannis he waited for 2 hours in the snow with a grumpy travelling 19 month old toddler!

He is the one who watches the grumpy kid while I take off for my runs to train. He goes with me on shopping trips looking for the new stuff. He bought me my first Polar HRM last summer for my birthday. He reminds me that no matter what I weigh he loves me and I am beautiful. I hate my old pictures, he reminds me I was still me. He was with me when I weighed my highest 272 pounds and never once complained. This still has me in complete awe and amazement. He loved me before I loved me.

He is a great man and there are times when I forget this. So I made a print of the top picture and put it on my fridge. It will remind me that although I physically run the races there are people who are running with me in other ways. And to not take them for granted along the way ;)

We all have people in our journey who help us achieve our goals. Who supports you and keeps you going on a daily basis?

Week 3 Checking in Spring Into Action Challenge!

Well I had an exciting week up until my weigh in hehe.


I am not going to let it get me down though because I totally rocked my half marathon on Sunday and that is what matters to me! I finished it 11 minutes faster than I did 3 weeks ago! Hello who would not be happy about that right? I completed 13.1 miles in 34 degree weather in 1 hour 48 minutes and 10 seconds!!!!!!!!!!

So that is what I want to focus on as I put this bad weigh in behind me and welcome a new week and a fresh new start. I am weighing in today at 155.4lbs I weighed in last week at 154.4 so for the challenge I am sorry to my wonderful partner Monica B. that I am letting us down. But I am working my ass off and I can only hope the scale will be kinder to me this coming week!

I did manage to train all week long and I racked up a total of 32 miles!!! This is my most yet! I am proud of myself for going the distance and pushing through. I also got 40 push ups done at one time for the push up contest. I started only being able to do 25 in 1 set. So my body is working, it is performing faster, harder, and stronger. I got into the gym today and ran 4 miles and then lifted weights for 50 minutes. I was so into my workout that I lost track of time!

This is what I need to get back to. The old me of working my ass off 6 days a week and not stressing over the damn scale. According to my BMI I have to hit 150 to be considered 'ideal weight' since I am 5'5. I am wearing a size 2 in my dress pants for work. I am in small shirts and workout pants etc. I am pretty darn happy about that. 13 months ago I was in a size 18 and XXLs and unable to shop anywhere that did not have plus sizes. 5 more pounds will come off when it is ready I guess. but until then I am going to keep working hard and keep doing what I love to do: run, lift and be happy.

Thanks for all your continued support!

Frustrated With Weight Watchers

Well if you know me by now you know that for the past 13 months I have been following Weight Watchers.I must say I owe a lot to Weight Watchers it has helped me lose the 98 pounds that I have lost. In the 13 months I have been to meetings run by about 10 different leaders. When I joined I went with a friend and we went to a meeting for convenience. The leader was not great and if I had stayed I probably would not still be doing Weight Watchers today. Luckily I went to another center and got into a different meeting and it helped me alot.

Well those meetings conflicted with some family obligations and off I was to find another meeting. I floated, for about 2 months I floated I attended a few different meetings looking for a connection. If you have been over weight and have been to a meeting with a good leader then you know what I am talking about. Some people have it some people don't. Some leaders really connect with you and take a personal vested interest in your journey.

That is all I was looking for. Someone to keep me motivated and give me the push I needed every week. After all that is what we pay Weight Watchers for. I am a monthly pass member so I pay every month to use e tools and attend meetings etc. and it was always worth it to me once I was going to a good meeting. I could do it on my own for free at home, but again it helped me so I kept at it.

Then I found Stacy. She was a leader unlike any other, she is loud, outgoing, and does not let you hide in the corner. She brings humor and light to the meetings and she takes an interest in you. She was the first leader to give out her personal phone number during meetings in case we had questions during the week or needed support. I was blown away when I attended her meeting. And I thought this is what I need, someone who will keep me accountable but who I can relate to!

And so I settled in once again to a great weekly meeting which was only 7 minutes away from my home. Being a full time working, part time schooling, mom to a toddler, this is most important a meeting I can run over to in a few minutes, a meeting the toddler can come to without feeling judged. And Stacy gave me that. She got interested in my journey and even got me interested in working for Weight Watchers. 9 other leaders I had been working with and not a one had given me the dream to come work for the team and tell me how inspiring I could be to other people.

Then tonight an announcement was made that Stacy would no longer be doing out meetings. They told us that Weight Watchers corporate has decided to move her out of the meeting and she is being replaced with someone brand new. When I asked why, I got no answers and was told I could go to her other meetings which are 30 minutes away in the inner city. Making those meetings would be a logistic night mare and I would not be able to get there every single week. When I called corporate to complain of this, they claim that they do not make the decision to move leaders around and had no idea what was going on. I am waiting for a call back.

So here I am, sitting here pondering why I should even continue going to meetings because I hate being lied to and I feel someone is not telling me the truth. I feel betrayed and disappointed that a company I have trusted to guide me through the most difficult journey of my life has let me down. And there were many other members at my meeting who feel the same way.

So this comes as I have been struggling with getting to "lifetime" goal weight, I have been wrestling with this because I am physically small and happy with myself but according to my BMI I have to lose 5 more pounds to be at lifetime. So I sit and wonder, is it time to cut my ties with Weight Watchers and focus on my training and clean eating only? I planned on talking about it more with Stacy but obviously now that is not an option...

We shall see, I am curious to see if I will get some answers to the leader situation from Weight Watchers corporate whom I called today.


Let me know your thoughts please!

Quincy Half marathon a new PR!!!

I am beaming from ear to ear still as a I write this. I cannot believe how much better and easier this race felt. I started out nervous as you can see from my morning post. But I was determined to not let it bring me down! It was nice to be home and get ready and eat my normal oatmeal and make my own coffee. Then we headed out to Quincy for the half marathon.

I got there and immediately felt better, the race was small only around 800 participants registered so there were no huge crowds and it was beginning and ending at Quincy high school which meant a nice big indoor gymnasium and bathrooms LOL we all know how important those are! I stretched and walked as we waited to begin and it was also fun having my friend Lauren along side of me. She was running her first ever half marathon today!!!

There we are pre race in the gym!

At 8:45 we set out into the freezing 32 degrees and began to wait to start the race! I had my vanilla gu packet and waited patiently. I set on my MP3 player and the new running mix was definitely a big help! I am so glad I added new music that I had never raced with before. The horn blew and off we went!

I started out freezing my toes off but that feeling quickly went away as we started running. I began to look around and see all of the people running and that feeling of excitement was kicking in! The course was nice in the beginning and we headed along the beautiful Quincy shore:

I was tweeting at mile stops and texting my boyfriend who was patiently waiting at the finish line. It was nice to have my phone and be able to let everyone know how I was doing! It was also so nice to not be running in the snow!!!! I am not sure what combinations worked for me but I honestly felt great doing this race. Maybe it was the music, the workouts all week long, the weather, the course, but I never got tired. I kept going and going.

I also kept singing out loud and pumping my fists especially when the hills came! When I thought I might falter I sang louder! I think the people running around me thought I was nuts haha but I did not even care. I truly think this is what helped me during this race I was confident and relaxed. I just went out there to rock out and have fun. It was a whole different mindset than the half I ran 3 weeks ago. I pushed on but I never hit a wall. There was a huge hill around mile 6 and I thought oh no, and then all of a sudden Nelly's 'Heart of a champion' came on and I starting belching out the lyrics. Hey it kept me going!

I did fuel up at mile 7 with my second gu packet this one was a power aid mocha one with caffeine! It was definitely the boost I needed as we began to loop back around Marina bay. I only took 4 sips of water at 2 stops the entire race. And the morning of the race I had 1 cup of coffee and about 5 ounces of water. This is different than the bottle I guzzled last time and sips at every stop. I really feel that helped. I hydrate daily with at least 100 ounces of water so my body did not need it, and I did not have the feeling of I need to pee every 5 minutes. That helped me keep my focus!

When I passed mile marker 9 and my time on my polar HRM said 1:14 i knew in that instant that i was going to finish strong in this race. I was not fatigued, I was not crying, I was not hitting a wall. I was beaming from ear to ear and having FUN!!!! I looked around at mile marker 12 and was cheering! I kept saying woohoo people we are almost done 1 mile left come on smile! No one was smiling LOL I think I was annoying everyone. I think next race i may make a custom t-shirt that says ' I am not crazy I run for fun' or something because really people were so uptight!

Coming down the last hill you can see the crowd gathering and hear the cheers, this is how you know your race is coming to an end. Honestly at that point i was elated, I kept looking at my watch thinking there was an error. I was in disbelief that I honestly blew Hyannis time out of the water! But I did!!!! I crossed that finish line strong and with a huge ass smile!

When I saw those red digital number 1:48 on the timer I almost cried! I was literally so excited I was shouting and walking to cool down I was just beaming. I waited for Lauren who finished strong with 1:59!!! She did a sub 2 for her first half ever and I am so proud of her!!!! We walked outside and began drinking water. I popped in a banana and NRG bar to fuel back up. I stretched and waited patiently for my favorite part of a race seeing my results!

I finished 239 place with 1:48:10!!! I could not believe I ran an average of 8:15 per mile!!! That is my fastest time for a distance run ever!!!!!! And I felt like I could keep going. For the first time after a run that long I knew in my heart that I could finish a full. I wanted to cry.

Very proud of those medals :)

I am elated as I think I rambled 10 times. But I sit here in awe of myself today. 13 months ago I weighed 252 pounds and could not even job a mile. I am running proof that if you set your mind to achieve a goal and work hard you can do ANYTHING!!!!

Pre Race Jitters

So as you may or may not know I am running another half marathon in about 2 and a half hours! I am sitting here all wired up so I thought I would share with you some of my pre race jitters so to speak. I always have vivid dreams the night before, I guess my mind is always racing!

Last night was no different I had a dream that I got lost along the course! I was running and all of a sudden I was lost and then somehow I could not find my way back for a mile and then once I was back on track I noticed I was slower and I finished in over 2 hours. I crossed the line and it would not record because my chip was broken and the people there did not care. It sounds bizarre but again I always have these crazy dreams the night before LOL

I was actually fine all day yesterday surprisingly I was not nervous, I think it is because I kept busy! i went to the gym in the morning and did a light elliptical wokkout and some weight training for my upper body. Then I worked for a few hours and then I headed to DW park for my weekly meet up. My weight watchers leader Stacy and I jogged a 6K in about 45 minutes. I had peanut in tow in the stroller. I realized I need a jogging stroller if those will continue each week! But anyways, it was good then I came home and cooked dinner for my sister and family. I know you should rest before race day but I am not the type of person who can rest! When I do then my mind begins to stress.

Even know I sit here with my coffee and oatmeal and my stomach is churning. I do not feel hungry it is just in knots! I am forcing down this food like I did last time because I know my body needs it if it wants to finish 13.1 strong! So vivid dreams, knots in my stomach, and a sense of why am I doing this? I did it 3 weeks ago in the snow you would think I would not be nervous now! But honestly now I know how long it is!

So I was sitting there last night reshuffling the mp3 player to add some new tracks to it and repeating what tracks worked well for me during 'walls' I hit during the race last time. And I kept thinking about last time and how long and tiring it was, then I kept wondering why the heck I did it? Then I went back and looked at my video of me crossing the line and the look on my face, the arm in the air, the excitment, the accomplishment. And I packed up my bag and went to bed.

I know I will have a blast today, I promise to sing out loud when it gets tough lol it got me through last time. And for the first time today I have someone I know and adore running the race my friend Lauren! We have known each other since 3rd grade so I am excited to be racing with her! I will have fun despite all these pre race nerves and jitters and I plan to rock this half!