Sometimes people judge me.
Well unfortunately every one gets judged at some point or another. But living healthy in a sometimes unhealthy world can be tough. I am the girl who carries a lunch bag to pretty much every where. I love my big salad for lunch, fruits and veggies for snacks, and protein. That is it. Pretty simple and I get weird looks sometimes but oh well.
But the problem I face lately is well it is the holiday season! It seems everyone wants me to have something bad like a piece of candy, cupcake etc There really is just a lot of junk out there. And then when you go visit people it is the same problem. Well I turn them down for several reasons.
One, I have celiac disease and a dairy intolerance. Both of which leave me terribly sick when I eat it. I get tired sometimes of being questioned about it so I just say no thank you to the cookies laced with wheat flour. But every once in awhile that no thank you is not good enough and I get the well why don't you want one. I'm allergic, then comes wow that stinks don't you miss bread? Most times I smile and say oh yes its tough. Because usually it is enough to quiet people. In my mind I'm like geez rub it in why don't ya?
Two, I'm an addict. This is where my issues really lay. I was addicted to cigarettes for 5 years I quit but only successfully when I went cold turkey. I became addicted to sugar sometime in my teens and my body began packing on the pounds. For me sugar is comfort. It is a cozy warm place that makes me feel at peace. I know it sounds crazy!
When I'm stressed I crave sugar. After a meal I want sugar. At night I want it. If I could live off of chocolate and sugar oh I would I promise you. The reality is obviously I cannot. Well I cannot healthfully do so anyways. I have to quit sugar. And I have done it pretty successfully this year. I went back on some post marathon and obviously you know what happened...
So now when I turn it down and get the eye rolls it bugs me. I am tired of the oh my gosh do you ever cheat from that diet you do? Don't you miss it?
I want to smack them sometimes lol but now that would simply be uncivilized. I want to ask if they would offer an alcoholic a drink and ask them if they miss it? If they would offer and encourage me to cheat from my diet of quitting smoking once in awhile to... I'm not kidding this runs through my mind. I know it sounds extreme but then again isn't being morbidly obese unhealthy too? For me the taste of something sugary makes me want more and more. I cannot just have a bite of candy and walk away.
Maybe one day I will be able to but for now I just can't. There are other unhealthy foods I can taste and not crave more of, like french fries or chips things like this do not send me into that craving more mode like sugar. So I do what any recovering addict does and stay away from the sugar beast completely.
I obviously keep these thoughts in my head and smile and politely say no I do not miss it and proceed to quickly change the subject. But man if they only knew what swirls through my mind ;)
9 comments:
I have an addictive personality too. It is hard for me to eat just one sweet. One usually turns into the entire bag. If I'm under any type of stress I try not to eat anything sweet because it won't be pretty. Last year around the holiday season I was literally ill from eating so badly. I'm trying to do better this year. I want to enjoy the holidays and not be sick and ashamed the entire time. You are always an inspiration for me!
It's so frustrating that a healthy lifestyle is far less "accepted" in this day and age than it ought to be. Why are people such FOOD PUSHERS?? In my view, they should be looking to you and I for advice and tips on how to eat and live a healthier and happier life, vs. basically berating you for the choices you've made to get healthy. This kind of thing frustrates me to no end!
I know what you mean about the sugar addiction....I am way better with none. I do not know how to do 'just one' so it is none. Way to stick to it girl!! You could bring your fruits, veggies, and gianormous salad to my house ANY day!
I love this not that people suck but the post u wrote is great! I do this awesome support group in Waltham every few weeks I have to tell u more think u would like it...
I have a problem with an addictive personality as well... which is my bigger problem. I'm also coeliac which actually serves me well at times as there's heaps I can't eat when out/ offered and I find people to be understanding if they know I'm allergic and whatever they're offering will make me sick.
Hope you get through the festivities...
Deb
The food pushers are hard to deal with. I've learned that I have to just stand strong. It's usually coworkers that try and get me to eat the junk because they never knew me when I was 250 pounds. Family and friends know how hard I worked to lose the weight and would never try to push food onto me.
only you know your body and your trigger points... it's so unfortunate that people are not more supportive of a healthy lifestyle.. just remember "misery loves company" and people look at your accomplishments thus far and some are probably envious.. stay strong, you have worked hard to get to where you are.. negative people/comments will always exist but you be the bigger person and not let it get to you.. kudos for staying strong... you inspire me everyday.. everyday i see a tweet from you working out and it reminds me that i can do this..
When it comes to food I am the same way as there are certain foods that just set me off and I just want to eat everything even if I am not hungry. I am still working on removign these foods from my life and you are definitely good motivation for me!
Just wanted to let you know that I bookmarked this post and now and then when I need it I go back and read it again :) Thank you!!!
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