Do you ever do something by accident and it turns out to be one of those happy accidents that makes your day? That happened to me yesterday I was downloading some new tunes on amazon.com (I am addicted now to changing my running soundtrack) So yes I was searching for music and stumbled upon a rock song I have never heard of by a band that no longer exists apparently lol.
The song is called "Divine Intervention" and it is by the band formerly known as Dial 8. Never ever heard of them but I liked the beat of the song and it was cheap so I clicked buy. I did not even fully listen to it until I was at the gym today.
The lyrics, spoke to me, especially after having a not so good weigh in I needed it. They go like this:
This is my life and I will do as a I choose
And this is my life so forget about you
All I want is to be here so why don't you just leave me alone
Why do I try to be everything to everyone?
This is divine intervention and beautiful grace
This is MY LIFE
This is my time and my place
That kept repeating in my head! I loved it. They probably thought I was crazy at the gym when I got into the song while speeding on the elliptical hehe oh well.
After the emotional roller coaster week I had, I needed to hear something like this and just remember this journey it is mine. This is my choice, I want to hit certain goals, I need to stop worrying about what other people are telling me and just do what the hell I want.
I want to get to goal weight, I want that stupid little lifetime member Weight Watchers pass. because to me it is not stupid, to me it is the culmination of the past 18 months on this healthy journey. To me it means I can actually for the first time in 10 years say I went from being morbidly obese to a healthy weight! And I did it on my own without pills, surgery, or even a personal trainer.
I do not care who thinks I am already small enough, bony, veiny (yes I have heard it all this week). I was up 3 pounds since my weigh in 3 weeks ago. I was upset for 5 seconds and more disappointed for a few hours. I need need need to stop the bullshit and just get to that magic number of 150. Despite what my body shows those last few pounds are hiding somewhere. I have 22% body fat according to the caliper I ordered 2 weeks ago. Yes I wish I had measured my body fat percent since day 1. I only wish I would love to know how much fat I have cut, I know it is a lot because I went from a size 18 to a 2 these past 18 months. I do not need the caliper but it is reassuring lol
I want to lose 10 more pounds, yes a lot of people tell me this is crazy but again this is MY LIFE. I want to run faster I want to be leaner, to do this I need to weigh a little less. At 5'5 I am still considered over weight by my BMI. My BMI weight range for a healthy weight is 150-120 pounds. And for Weight Watchers you need to pick a goal weight for life time status within that range. So I picked 150, this is the top of my BMI class. I am secretly shooting for a bit more but I need to get to 150 first and stay there! I am mad because I was 150.4 only 3 weeks ago! Not running and lifting heavier weights for 2 weeks seems to have caused a shift, and I am ok with this.
But now, running is back in full swing!! I was so happy to get my early morning runs in this week! Monday was 3.1, Tuesday was 5, Wednesday was cross training, Thursday was 6, and Friday was 3.2. Tomorrow is my long run, the first official one of my marathon training so I am excited about that. I am confident that now I am running more I will drop the last few pounds and get to goal weight.
So this is my time to shine!!! Like the song says I will do as I choose! I will keep training and complete that marathon on November and I will keep working to be healthy and happy. Because I want to feel this alive for the rest of my life.
Do you have songs which keep you inspired while you workout or even just in your car driving?
I would love to hear them!