People always ask me how I have shed the 100+ pounds in the past 14 months and I tell them, it has been a lot of hard work. And it has. But what made me do it? What keeps me going?
Well for starters this girl:
That is my beautiful daughter whom I refer to as 'peanut'. She is 20 months old and the day she was born it changed me forever.
I do not have a mom who is a part of my life. My grandmother whom we lost 3 years ago was that special woman in my life. So it is hard, it is hard being a mom and a woman and not having that motherly figure to call when I am upset, or to turn to when I am sick. All of that in my life made me depressed. And after giving birth I went through a dark period, a post-partum depression and when peanut was 6 months old I said to her that I could not continue. I was going to lose her father, and our family if I did not make some kind of major changes. I thought if I got skinny it would solve my problems. So I joined Weight Watchers and started eating better and losing weight.
After a few months it got boring, I was losing weight but that was it, I was still depressed and the real root of the problem was not solved, I did not love myself. I did not appreciate who I was as a woman, mother, and friend. So I started exercising more than I was already and I looked at the couch to 5K program. I am someone who loves being told I cannot do something, this pushes me to do it! Well someone had told me I would never be able to run. So I said you know what I will start running.
And so it began. I could not run when I started. I used to walk on the treadmill doing the hill routine and little by little I started jogging. When I weighed 220 pounds I started lightly jogging. It hurt, it made me tired and sweaty but it felt good. I kept at it. Before I knew it I was running. I signed up for a 5K in September and I debated on if I would even be able to finish, or if I should even do it. But then race day came September 17th, 2010 and I did it. I ran the whole race and finished in 28:10 and I felt amazing. I will never forget that day, it changed me forever. It made me realize I was slowly becoming a runner, I could achieve anything and most importantly that I was happy.
Us at our first 5K see I was pretty big still
And so my journey racing began. I ran another 5k in October and trained all winter. I started running in snow and wind. I bought a mask and gloves and trucked out there even when people told me I was nuts. And I signed up for a half marathon. And you know what? I got out there on Cape Cod on a cold snowy wet miserable typical new England morning and ran it. I finished in 1:59 and that was it. I knew right then and there that I was an athlete and I was capable of doing great things.
Running made me more disciplned with my eating, it made me push myself harder and harder than I ever had. It keeps me training and forces me to stay in tip top shape. And 3 weeks after my first half marathon was done? I ran one more. Just to make sure I could, and I finished in 1:48. Never have I felt prouder than when I was crossing that finish line. I wanted to keep running, and I set my sights on full marathons.
And that is what keeps me going each and every day. Even when its cold or raining out, even when I am sick, I still run. I run to live, I run to breathe, I run to feel alive. I race to keep setting goals for myself and working towards new Personal Records. And to me there is no better feeling than crossing that finish line and cheering other people on as they cross it. It is what I live for. It keeps me going out there and training to be better. It is not always easy to wake up early, or go for a long run when you are tired, but when you close your eyes and picture that finish line it makes it hard to not train! And winning medals can be a huge motivator as well! I learned all about that 2 weeks ago!
Me after placing for the first time in a race 2 weeks ago with my 2nd place medal :)
What keeps you motivated?
Do not forget to go visit these lovely blogger who also blogged about it this week:
- Alli: http://wholesomefitness.wordpress.com/
- Jen: http://jenklimek.wordpress.com/
- Dawn: http://www.bareitallfitness.com/
- Donloree: http://www.bikiniorbust.com/
- Liz: http://4amaven.wordpress.com/
- Tiffany: http://passlakeprincess.wordpress.com/
- Kendra: http://grindhardlivefit.wordpress.com/
- Lisa: http://www.healthiestlife4me.com/
- Tammy: http://tammysmirror.com/
- Kari http://www.figuregirlworld.com