Today is a very important day for me and it is one I hope to continue to celebrate each and every year today marks the day that I walked into my first Weight Watchers meeting and signed up. Now when I went there it was honestly on a whim. I joined with one of best friends to see what it was all about. I had reached my breaking point 2 weeks ago. I was at my largest size ever and I was crying a few days before valentine's day when I realized the things I had bought did not fit. It was depressing going to return them and I remember feeling so hopeless. I will never ever forget that feeling, complete and utter disgust with my own body and self. I was trying to comfort myself that day and I ate chocolates and cried. I was not alone physically because I had the love of my family, boyfriend, and daughter but I was alone inside. I did not even like myself let alone love myself. I was moody, depressed, and in pain.
My daughter was 5 months old, I was 26 years old and taking 7 medications. One for depression which I had struggled with after giving birth. 2 for my heart, 1 for my stomach, 1 for my arthritis and 1 for my immune disorder. I was feeling like a 70 year old woman instead of a young hip mom and it hurt a lot. So needless to say I walked into that first Weight Watchers meeting not expecting much at all. I figured hey maybe it can help me lose a few pounds and get going. I wanted to be skinny, I wanted to look like a model. I was desperate to be thin and was determined to get it any way possible.
Little did I know that I would learn so so much and make my journey about being healthy not about a size of jeans. And by doing that, I would change my size without focusing on being skinny. The first few weeks of Weight Watchers were good I was counting and losing and going about things ok. I began to realize that my portions were out of control, that I liked to exercise, and that i was not on a diet. What for years I had been on diets. This time I told myself I would commit to a life style change. And I did not set a goal weight. That is what I liked about weight watchers. When I went in it was not about ok you need to lose 110 pounds to be healthy. nope in fact a goal was set of 5%, yes lose 5% of your body weight and celebrate. For me 5% was 12.6 pounds. That goal was reachable and I did it within 4 weeks. Then it was 10%. After that I just kept saying ok 10 more pounds. I would look ahead but only to the next 10 pounds.
People would ask me wow how much do you want to lose? whats your goal weight? I would say I do not know I just am working on losing 10 pounds right now. Some would look confused, others were say ok good luck. It took months for people to even notice I was losing weight. but you know what? I stopped caring about everyone else. I made it all about me. Not about my boyfriend, not about my friends or family, it was for me. I went to workout everyday for myself. I began to feel more energized, I began to feel physically better. I was able to come off my medications. I was able to breath and live.
Stay tuned tomorrow I will continue blabbing about my journey ;)
Now I will share the numbers!
Starting Weight: 252.6 pounds
Weight today: 161.4 pounds
Weight loss average over last 52 weeks: 1.75lbs a week.
Weight loss percentage: 36.1%
I needed that. I needed to calculate the average weekly loss to realize how far I have come. Lately I have been getting down on ,myself because honestly I wanted to be at life time weight watchers goal weight by this anniversary and weight 148 pounds. But it looks like it will take me a little longer to get there, and slowly I am working on accepting that. The statistics prove that if you lose an average of 1 to 2 pounds a week slowly then you are more likely to keep it off for life. I am determined to keep this weight off for life so I am OK with losing 1.75 a week.
So you have waited long enough how about some pictures?!?
Well here is me a year ago this very day. I saved this outfit to remind me of what I will never be again.
And here is me in that very same outfit today! By the way yes the pants are a size 18 and yes the shirt is a 2XL. Yes it was my going out outfit
I was laughing inside and out trying to hold the pants up. Then there was a moment where I wanted to cry only because at that moment I realized how big I used to be and how unhealthy I was.
Then I started snapping some progression pictures and for the first time it hit me, why not take a picture of my back? I wish I had done this in the beginning to see the progression of my muscles and my weight training progress but oh well. I have one now :)
So thank you everyone for cheering me on this past year and helping me get through what has been the hardest, most rewarding journey of my life!